Over the past century science has presented us with evidence claiming that mankind bears a close relationship with apes, resulting in the theory of evolution. But few have noticed resemblances we as humans share with yet another species…sheep. These few have also not overlooked the invention of man and the phenomenon which allowed our relationship with our wooly brethren to be established: the herd-like exodus of North Americans from cities to a new destination, a destination that we know today as the suburbs.
The concept of the suburbs has changed over time. Originally used to describe poor class residential areas found on the city outskirts in the 19th century, today the suburbs accommodate and attract the upper-middle class as well. Why would these people crave cookie-cutter housing you may ask? Why does the average North American need 646 square feet of living space to the Chinese’s 108[i]? People simply want more bang for their buck: more house, more land, more safety, more people like them.
In 30 years, the average North American home grew from 1500 sq. ft to 2266 sq.ft., an increase of over 700 sq ft[ii]. It is now necessary to call your kids to dinner using intercom systems, turning homes into supermarkets. Certain rooms in the house are not used and become showrooms for passersby, while house cleaners require weeks to finish the job.
As a result of the expanse of land and the lay-out of the suburbs it is essential to own at least one vehicle. Suburb communities are too low-density for efficient public transit, give little access to pedestrians, and thus force you to drive everywhere. The average North American driver spends 440 hours on the road per year[iii], that’s 440 hours they could have spent aimlessly spraying water on their driveways with a hose. This reality is prevalent in the suburbs, where traffic injuries and deaths are three times more likely[iv]. But at least you’re far away from those dangerous hobos in the city, where they have these things called “subways”. They’re like tin trains which transport multiple people underground, from one place to another, all for the price of two dollars. You should see them, they’re groundbreaking.
The suburbs are not necessarily safer than the city. Let us not forget the Brampton terrorists, and the one gun they had access to which happened to be owned by the RCMP informant of the group, as well as their plan to bypass our country’s most advanced security force and behead our beloved Prime Minister.
Suburbia presents modern-day society with a cultural boundary as well. Two identifiable groups are prevalent in neighborhoods: new and old Canadian citizens. Regarding the first group, The Greater Toronto Area alone houses several of the biggest suburban municipalities in North America: Mississauga and Brampton together providing homes for over 1.1 million people[v]. Massive residential areas with fancy names like “English Springs” and “Yorkshire Bluffs” present homes for some of the 300, 000 new immigrants Canada receives each year[vi]. The majority of these immigrants choose to settle in suburban neighborhoods with others from the same cultural background. These new “suburban” ethnic enclaves do not make up Canada’s cultural mosaic, they take away from it. Easily accessible destinations like Toronto’s Chinatown and Little Italy, where urbanites of all backgrounds dine and shop are being replaced with immigrant “safe havens” in the suburbs.
Secondly comes the other group of suburbanites, the long-time established residents, who are becoming more and more socially inept; rarely learning their neighbours’ names. Many wake up in their bubble worlds, roll out of their beds, into their Escalades, and then into their cubicles, without as much as a wave to a passerby. Mark Kingwell, Professor of Philosophy at the University of Toronto states that, when looking for a home, people “come together seeking each other, but are now fleeing each other into isolation”[vii]. In other words, people have the desire to live amongst other people, but once they are presented with these gigantic homes and monoculture environments, they find themselves staying inside…a lot.
I once found myself walking down a deserted street in Erin Mills and noticed a man drag himself up to his window, peer through the blinds at me, almost cower at the sunlight which struck his face and then recede back into darkness. The look he gave me seemed to say “Why are you outside walking?”; it was as if there had been a zombie infestation and he thought I should be in a shack somewhere with the windows boarded up.
Suburbs are not part of a progressive community. They do not promote the advancement of the species, but rather leave no room for residential progress and push us closer towards American ideals. Families of four are given houses that are much too big for them, accompanied by gas-guzzling cars which they will take to and from work each day during their long rides to the downtown. They buy their food from the nearest strip of box plazas, and they retrieve their mail each morning from their cubby holes, found in the massive box halfway down the street. They hire people to walk their dogs, take care of their kids, mow their enormous lawns, and clean their massive pools. Oh, and think of the money they’re saving.
The future will not stand for suburbs. An Earth that is struggling for natural resources and undergoing an economic recession will not see mass housing that resembles a lunch lady putting congealed meatloaf on your plate, with one swift motion of her ladle, as a way of solving the problem. Over time, suburban home owners will no longer find themselves turning on the lights in what they thought was their bedroom, only to discover that they are not in their house at all, but two blocks down the street in a house that looks exactly like there’s. Change will come, don’t you worry.
[i] Radiant City. Dir. Jim Brown, Gary Burns. Perf. Hong Cheng, Kyle Grant, and Amanda Guenther. 2006. DVD. Burn Films Ltd, 2007.
[iv] Ibid.
[vi] Saunders, Doug. “Europe comes home to the shock of a demographic bombshell.” The Globe and Mail 6 Sept. 2008: Unknown.
[vii] Radiant City. Dir. Jim Brown, Gary Burns. Perf. Hong Cheng, Kyle Grant, and Amanda Guenther. 2006. DVD. Burn Films Ltd, 2007.
